Sitting on the couch, flipping through television channels, John was h

Sitting on the couch, flipping through television channels, John was having a hard time getting motivated. He didn’t know how to feel anymore, it seemed. Everything in his life seemed bleak. The one person that mattered most to him in the world had broken his heart and, in spite of wanting to be strong and move on, he felt more like he’d been run over by a truck.

John and Elise had met six months prior through internet dating. Since he worked in manual labour, John didn’t really know a whole lot about computers. In fact, he only owned a laptop because his brother had given him one that he no longer needed. John had overheard some of the guys at the job site discussing women that they’d met through internet dating and it seemed like it could be fun. That night, he’d gone home and typed “internet dating” into a search engine. He was floored by the number of websites that existed for that purpose alone. Being intimidated by an online world that he didn’t completely understand, John had taken a pass on it for awhile.

Then, after a dating dry spell of a few months, he decided he’d give internet dating a more serious try. He got as far as creating his first profile and was pretty proud of himself for it. After only a few days, he received a message. It was from Elise. She said she liked his photo and that she, too, was really new to the internet. She hoped that maybe they could help each other along. John was pleased to hear from someone that didn’t make him feel new or uncomfortable so he’d answered her and they struck up an immediate friendship.

After a few months, John grew to adore Elise. He relied on her to always be there when he logged in at night after work. Internet dating was easy. He didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything and he always had company. Elise had asked a few times if John would like to get together offline. She had suggested meeting for coffee or lunch, just to see how they got along in the “real world.” John turned her down each time. He didn’t feel compelled to take those steps. He liked having Elise just where she was – waiting for him on his computer screen, every night, until it was time for him to go to bed.

Then, the night came where John logged in to the dating site and opened the message from Elise. In it, she told him she was sorry but that she didn’t think he was truly interested in her or in cultivating a real relationship with her. She felt like a convenience and his unwillingness to move forward told her that she was probably wasting her time. She thanked him for the fun they’d had getting to know one another and she wished him all the best. She also asked him not to reply to the note or to contact her again.

In that single moment, John finally understood that internet dating was not a computer game. He had taken someone’s honest feelings and tossed them aside like they didn’t matter. If had any hope of finding someone like Elise to ever care for him again, he realized that he had an awful lot to learn.